Understanding the Earth Child
There’s no better way to describe the Earth child than as “salt-of-the-earth": they are very practical, organized, and good at keeping the wheels turning even from a young age. No fussy divas here, Earth kids just want to work hard and be a part of the team.
At home, the Earth child is the unsung hero because how they contribute isn’t flashy; you’ll often find them helping in the kitchen, caring for the pets (and even younger siblings!), and generally making sure that nothing falls through the cracks. These utility players are people pleasers, which can make them susceptible to being taken advantage of, so parents need to make sure their Earth children get the recognition they deserve.
Earth children learn best by doing things side-by-side with someone who can show them the ropes. They need constant feedback on their path to mastery, first from their instructor who encourages them throughout the learning process, then later through a lot of trial and error until they achieve consistent results. They are not your big problem solvers or revolutionary thinkers, but they are incredibly good at managing resources and making the most of what they have.
Developmental Stage
Since the Earth element is characterized by cycles, Earth children also fall into a pattern of going in circles. They don’t have a lot of lived experience yet, so Earth children feel extremely anxious about what can go wrong. For example, if an Earth kid’s parent is late picking them up from school, they will worry more than kids of other elements: “What if mom forgot about me? What if I don’t get picked up? What if I get hungry in the meantime? What if I miss tonight’s piano lesson?” The Earth child will whip themselves into a frenzy and may never move onto actionable ideas (“...then this is what I will do.”).
Because of all the uncertainty they express, under-developed Earth children can appear insecure and maybe even weak. They have yet to learn how to close the loop on their trains of thought by changing “What if” to “If…then…” For example, “What if mom forgot about me?” can turn into, “If mom forgot about me, then I will call her and she will come get me.” It’s a mental muscle that they have to develop.
During the developmental stage, Earth children will also have a chance to practice what will eventually become their superpowers: project management and multitasking. Cooking is a good illustrative example: Thanksgiving dinner has a lot of components and you have to know the order in which things must be done for all of the food to come out at the right time and at the right temperature. To pull this off, you need to be able to shift your focus fluidly from one task to the next, and have a sense for how the moving parts fit into the overall picture.
But no one ever starts out knowing how to coordinate so many moving parts. Your Earth child may start with being in charge of one (metaphorical) side dish, then two, and so on. With enough observation and practice, they will get the hang of managing many moving parts. But for now, they’re still learning how to prioritize the array of things they have to do.
They will mess up! It’s okay because Earth kids are easy to teach, but sometimes they’re reluctant to try out new things without encouragement. They pick things up through repetition; familiarity is comfortable, and this is how they develop expertise. Earth children are often not recognized for their talents because what they do is so steady and reliable (and let’s face it, generally unglamorous). Adults overlook the fact that being able to help in the tangible ways the Earth kid does is very mature for their age.
Earth Imbalances in Children
When a child has an excess of Earth, they feel overwhelmed and their level of worry goes through the roof. They don’t keep their “what ifs” to themselves; instead, they whine about them to their parents ad nauseam. Parents struggle to help the imbalanced Earth child because they can’t seem to quell this kid’s worries. No matter how much time parents spend with them, teaching them, showing them, they will keep coming up with scenarios in their mind of how things can go wrong. (The phrase “nails on a chalkboard” has been used to describe this whining. It’s such a relief when this finally ends!)
When this excess of Earth is turned outward rather than directed inward, you end up with a very meddlesome kid. They become the busybodies who are always inserting themselves into situations. For example, balanced Earth children will happily share their snack with their friends at school; a child with an excess of Earth will make everyone share their food, make assignments for what people should bring, and keep tabs on who they didn’t feel contributed in an appropriate way.
Earth kids want so badly to be a part of the group, they may ingratiate themselves to others to feel included. When they’re imbalanced, this can turn them into people-pleasers who are highly susceptible to peer pressure in their effort to be accepted. They will be nosey and pry into people’s business, then to prove how “in” they are with the group, they’ll turn around and spill all the tea. They can add a very manipulative and subversive dynamic to a group.
When a child is Earth deficient, they will embrace the underling role at home or with their friends. Helpful under normal circumstances, when kids are Earth deficient, they will enslave themselves to the group to avoid being excluded. This can lead them to neglect themselves: they can’t organize their homework, their rooms are a mess, and they don’t know how to begin to straighten things out (don’t even think about asking them to declutter because they’re unable to make any decisions in this state).
An Earth-deficient child loses their ability to prioritize; they cannot adhere to a timeline, multitasking is impossible, and things fall apart. Sometimes parents tell them they just need to try harder, but this will just make them even more overwhelmed. Parents can get their kid back on track by saying, “Up until that point, you did really well, but then you had a little hitch here that you didn’t notice. You can do this, here’s how you can get things back on track. Do you want my help doing that, or are you good?”
Parenting Earth Children
Parenting an Earth child is largely about making sure they’re not overlooked. When Earth children do everything right, everything runs smoothly but quietly, almost as if those things happened automatically. The dog has been walked and fed, school lunches are packed, and everything’s put away. All of this seems like basic maintenance, nothing that needs a spotlight shone on it.
The truth is, Earth kids put a lot of effort into what they do! They pick up all the work that no one else will do, things that the Metal child determines are out of their scope, the Fire child writes off as dull and unexciting, and that the Wood child would rather delegate (the Water child doesn’t even notice this stuff going on – they’re off in the other room pontificating); even parents are relieved that somebody took care of these things. Earth kids get the job done, and their parents should recognize them for the quality of life they add to the family. At the same time, parents have to be careful not to overwhelm the Earth child with responsibilities just because they are organized – this will cause them to become overwhelmed and imbalanced.
Earth children feel very disconcerted if their parents don’t pay attention to what they care about. Whether it’s rescuing an injured animal or perfecting their toffee cookie recipe, if their parents write off their concern as silly or a waste of time, the sensitive Earth child will be both upset and confused. A lot of the Earth child’s anxiety would go away if only their parents acknowledged their efforts (“You did that? That’s wonderful, next time let’s do it together.”).
Fighting within the family is particularly distressing for the Earth child. They worry about the family unit breaking up, and if the group is in danger, then they are in danger. They will try to hold everyone together so that there is no rupture, which is not a position parents should allow their kids to be in.
The Earth child is a delightful yet often overlooked member of the family and community. They can be great managers and extremely hard workers, but they don’t often receive praise for the work they do so consistently and diligently. So treasure your Earth child for the valuable contributor they are – they deserve it.
