Understanding the Water Child

Water children are some of the least understood kids because a lot of what they experience happens beneath the surface. On the one hand, this can make it very easy for parents because they don’t have a lot of behavioral issues to contend with with the Water kid; Water kids believe in the greater good and therefore have a natural tendency to want to “be good.”

On the other hand, for a parent it can be hard to understand what’s going on in their Water kid’s world because there’s not much to see. Water kids tend to be philosophical and to think about the big picture – mature goals, to be sure, which is why water kids are often late bloomers; it takes a long time to be able to formulate a big-picture perspective about everything they observe. But because they spend their time thinking and feeling rather than acting and reacting, parents have to probe their Water child to understand what’s going through their mind.

Development Stage

All children take some time to develop, but Water kids seem to take longer than most. Water kids have a precociousness about them because they are deep thinkers, but they can also oscillate between being “smart” and, “What were you thinking?!”

Water children have a very specific way of approaching things that might be described as impractical or lacking common sense. For example, if they see the dishwasher leaking water all over the floor, instead of quickly turning it off and grabbing some towels, or even calling for their parents to help, they may just stare at the soapy water and food particles thinking, “Why is the water pooling in this direction? How much food does it take to cause an overflow? I wonder how long it would take the water to completely evaporate if I just left it here….”

Other times, a Water child’s insights can seem so profound that you believe you’re living with a little buddha. I remember a time when I was hopping mad because someone cut me off on my way to pick up my seven-year-old from camp. When I told her why I was so flustered, she said, “Is it worth being mad at the lady, or is it just better to let it go? You’re safe. Let’s just have a nice day.” That really put me in my place!

This is the other edge of the sword: Parents of water kids may be disappointed by their kid “not living up to their potential” because they sometimes show flashes of brilliance so early on. Parents want to see results from their little prodigy before they can produce those results consistently. Water flows and needs the freedom to explore; Water kids can go along the path you put them on, but sometimes they veer off-course and travel in a completely unforeseen direction, and that’s okay. If Water kids aren’t given proper parental support for their continued development – if they are too tightly contained – they can end up demotivated and their development stunted.

Water Imbalances in Children

As with all imbalances, a child can have either an excess of Water or a Water deficiency. When a child has an excess of Water, they can be perceived as stubborn or arrogant; they get set in their ways and you cannot convince them that you might have a different approach that is just as valid as theirs. This happens particularly when the other person cannot explain exactly why they think differently than the Water child. Kids with an excess of Water may also come off as standoffish and superior because they think they know better than everyone else.

When a child is Water deficient, they can be perceived as flaky because they’re so long-term focused that they’re not interested in dealing with the tasks in front of them; they’re also often let off the hook for these infractions because they are not outwardly disruptive. They’re so reserved that they can often fly under the radar even when they’re not okay; unless a parent takes an active role in soliciting a Water child’s concerns, they will suffer in silence through whatever is upsetting them.

Water children are particularly upset when there is conflict in the family because they perceive this as an existential crisis. They lose the ability to do what a Water child does best, which is to gain knowledge and develop their ideas; they are too preoccupied by the instability to be able to settle into their natural curiosity. Water deficient kids can become susceptible to shallow or false spirituality, such as belief in superstitions, or they can distance themselves from the family turmoil by fleeing into their ivory tower.

Parenting Water Children

Parenting a Water child requires actively engaging the child to ask them what’s going on beneath their surface. Ask them, “What have you been reading lately? What are you thinking about? What is the purpose of life?” If a parent shows interest in their world, the kid will be interested in the parent’s world, which will motivate them to engage more fully with what’s going on outside of themselves.

Water children want to engage in their community and to understand the role they play in the larger group. Parents can help them to find a place to contribute, give them some direction in their environment to help them see the possibilities for how they can fit into the bigger picture. Being a part of a larger group is very beneficial for a Water child because it gives them a greater support network; Water children often suffer from being overlooked because they’re not built to be a squeaky wheel, and having more people connected to them will reduce the chance that they’ll be neglected. If they are included in their community, Water children can grow up to contribute greatly to that community, not necessarily with the daily execution of duties, but with creating a vision for the long term goals of the group.

Parents need to be patient and give their Water child plenty of time to mature.

Water children need to feel secure at home and in their environment in order to meet their potential; this means having parents who will listen to them and be interested in what they’re interested in, so that they can continue to percolate and expand their ideas to their full breadth. Water children will thrive with the steady support of their parents and, if given enough space and freedom, will find their own unique way to contribute to the world.