Differentiating Your Emotions
Even when you have a list of vocabulary words for bad emotions, it’s not always easy to describe what you’re actually going through. “I’m stressed, depressed, and feel helpless.” But why do you feel that way? The more accurately you can describe why you’re feeling how you’re feeling, the better shot you’ll have at creating an effective plan to regain elemental balance.
The process of understanding your feelings and finding their root cause is specifically designed to engage your Sage Brain in problem solving and to keep your Snake Brain from going off half-cocked. The Snake Brain wants to react to an Alarm Emotion with a swift single action, but what it comes up with is rarely a solid long-term solution that effectively addresses the problem. For that, you need your Sage Brain to consider the situational context of your Alarm Emotion.
To help you with this process, we’ve created this cheat sheet. Here each section is headed with an Alarm Emotion. In italics we describe the general sentiments you might be feeling, then we list the specific emotions associated with those sentiments below.
You can start by naming your feeling and see if the sentiment matches, or you can check which sentiment resonates with you and see if any of the emotions listed below are a good fit. Either way, this process will grease the wheels and get you to start thinking through what might have happened to trigger your Alarm Emotion.
Worry (Earth)
“This is too much! I have been trying so hard and I can’t handle it all.”
Burned out
Depleted
Exhausted
Helpless
Hopeless
Lazy
Overwhelmed
Tired
Weary
Worn out
“I don’t know how to take care of this.”
Anxious
Disturbed
Jittery
Nervous
Rattled
Restless
Shaky
“I don’t know if what I did is going to work.”
Doubtful
Impatient
Insecure
On edge
Pessimistic
Tense
Uncertain
Unsure
“I tried to take care of the thing and it didn’t work.”
Agitated
Dismayed
Powerless
Rattled
Uncomfortable
Uneasy
Unsettled
Troubled
“Nobody is caring for me; nobody wants to care for me.”
Brooding
Envious
Greedy
Guilt-trippy
Isolated
Jealous
Longing
Neglected
Pitiable
Vulnerable
“I am forced to take care of somebody” OR “I am not able to care for somebody.”
Guilty
Miserly
Reluctant
Reserved
“The person I care for will not receive the care I want them to have.”
Possessive
Sadness (Metal)
”I have lost someone that was a meaningful part of my life.”
Grief-stricken
Homesick
Loss
Sorrowful
“Something enormous has been ripped away from my life and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Broken
Despair
Numb
“I can’t find common ground or harmony with the people around me, they live according to different rules.”
Alienated
Ennui
Dejected
Dispirited
Hyper-sensitive
Indignant
Removed
Self-conscious
Sullen
“I did something wrong and I know it.”
Ashamed
Embarrassed
“This whole world doesn't make sense and I don’t know how to be a productive part of it.” (This is where Metal and Water intersect.)
Dazed
Disheartened
Gloomy
Glum
Melancholy
Woeful
Fear (Water)
”I’m afraid something bad is going to happen.”
Apprehensive
Concerned
Dread
Foreboding
Hyper-vigilant
Mistrustful
Paranoid
Suspicious
Wary
“This seemingly life-threatening thing is happening to me.”
Despondent
Dismayed
Frightened
Horrified
Panicked
Scared
Shocked
Terrified
“When I am afraid, these are some possible ways other people might perceive me.”
Cold
Detached
Disoriented
Distant
Distracted
Disturbed
Dumbstruck
Guarded
Indifferent
Lost
Obstinate
Perplexed
Unnerved
Unsettled
Anger (Wood)
“I don’t know how to move forward.”
Demoralized
Disappointed
Discouraged
Flustered
Stuck
Tired
”Someone is stronger than me and I don’t like it.”
Contemptuous
Cowardly
Hopeless
Submissive
”Someone or something is in my way.”
Annoyed
Displeased
Frustrated
Furious
Impatient
Irritated
Outraged
”Someone’s not giving me what I want.”
Critical
Disgruntled
Exasperated
Hateful
Hostile
Loathing
Rage
Undermined
Vengeful
Wrathful
“Someone wants me to do something I don’t want to do.”
Offended
Scornful
”I’m gonna get what I want no matter what.”
Aggressive
Cruel
Nasty
Obstinate
Ruthless
Self-pity
Smug
Standoffish
Stubborn
Vicious
“When I am angry, these are some possible ways other people might perceive me.”
Grouchy
Grumpy
Pain (Fire)
“I have nothing to live for.”
Apathetic
Bored
Nihilistic
Uninterested
“I did something bad to someone I love and I know it.”
Mortified
Regretful
Remorseful
“Someone I love hurt me.”
Agony
Anguish
Devastated
Fragile
Heartbroken
Hurt
Insulted
Miserable
Pining
Rejected
Resentful
Sore
“I used to love someone and now I don’t.”
Animosity
Aversion
Bitter
Contempt
Disgusted
Dislike
Hateful
Revulsion
Spiteful
Torn
”I don’t love myself.”
Self-loathing
Generalized Alarm Emotions
Certain emotions cover a lot of ground and require us to examine their elemental context to see which Elements are actually out of balance. For example, being miserable can apply to any of the Alarm Emotions and is an expression of magnitude of bad feeling rather than corresponding to a specific element.
Identifying the elements that are out of balance helps to find appropriate solutions to bring them back into balance. To contextualize these feelings, it helps to remember what balanced emotions correlate to each Element, and that Alarm Emotions are triggered because of elemental imbalances.
For example, if you feel lonely (“I don’t have anyone”), it’s possible you feel like no one cares about you (Earth/Care), you are struggling to get along with the people around you (Metal/Harmony), you’re misunderstood (Water/Purpose), no one will work with you (Wood/Power), or no one loves you (Fire/Love). Any of these situations can lead you to feeling lonely, but most likely your feelings are the result of the imbalance of a particular element.
Here is a list of other emotions that can apply in the context of any of the elements.
Apprehensive: “I’m not sure that I’m making the right decision.”
Confused: “Why did that not turn out the way I expected?”
Depressed, Disappointed: “That did not turn out the way I expected.”
Distressed: “Oh no! It’s not turning out as expected!”
Helpless: “I can’t do anything about it.”
Lonely: “I don’t have anyone.”
Pessimistic: “This isn’t going to turn out the way I want.”
Regretful, Remorseful: “I wish I hadn’t done that.”
Resigned: “I guess I’ll have to live with it.”
Shame, Humiliated: “Society despises me and wants to expose what they think are my shortcomings.”
Stressed: “There’s too much going on to handle.”
Suffering: “Enduring this feels awful.”
Weak: “I can’t do this.”
